Ino's revenge
by Kin-Ryu Chikara
Summary: Jiraiya gets punished for...just about everything wrong he did. Sort of Yaoi...ish. Oneshot.


I don't own anything from the manga/anime Naruto. It is Masashi Kishimoto that owns Naruto. This is a fan fiction based on Masashi Kishimoto's manga and anime: Naruto.

* * *

Ino sighed in relief as she sat down in the hot springs. After a series of high level missions, the sixteen year old hunter nin felt like she deserved some peace and quiet before meeting her boyfriend later. That was probably why she was so incredibly PISSED OFF when she heard an all too familiar giggle from the fence separating the women's part and the men's part.

Recognising the giggle right away, Ino was steaming.

'That's the third time TODAY he's peeked on me. ThAT does it. That pervert is going to be the first to feel my new jutsu.' Ino thought and stood up. Immediately, the giggling increased, and Ino could almost hear the scribbling on a note pad. She rolled her eyes and turned her back to where she knew the giggling, soon to be moaning, pervert was and formed some seals. With a twirl of leaves, she was gone and reappeared behind said pervert.

--

Jiraiya giggled to himself. He had finally ditched that annoying brat of a student of his. Naruto had been pestering him about training for a while now.

'Che, as if the brat needs me to train him. Work a bit, baka.' Jiraiya had thought, but his thoughts quickly turned much brighter when he saw who walked into the hot springs he was currently spying on.

'Yamanaka Ino. One of the sexiest kunoichi in Konoha. OOhh, this is my lucky day.' Jiraiya thought and giggled a bit more, wiping a stray drop of blood away and readying himself for the show of platinum blonde heaven he knew he would get.

'There she is. Oh yeah, she's as sexy as ever. Is that…oh, naughty. To have a tattoo there. Obs, I'd better be quiet. She's a hunter nin after all.' Jiraiya thought and almost had to physically gag himself when he saw the tattoo on Ino's lower stomach. Now he could see what it said as well.

'Blonde Kitsune, huh? I wonder if Naruto knows she has a tattoo dedicated to him there. Perhaps I'll tell him. Nah, last time he heard I peeked on his girlfriend, he gave me a beating harder than Tsunade. Never knew the brat could hit that hard. But…oh, she dropped her soap. Oh, bend over for daddy. Oh, yeah!' Jiraiya thought and had to bite his lip from giggling. Still, when Ino slid into the hot spring, and a satisfied sigh escaped Ino's lips, Jiraiya couldn't keep quiet anymore. He started giggling like a schoolgirl(A/N: no offence to schoolgirls) and wrote like a crazy in his note book. That is, until he saw Ino stand up.

'No, she can't be leaving yet. I didn't even get a closer look of her piece of heaven.' Jiraiya thought, but then his 'amazing' ninja skills tingled and he noticed that Ino was gone in a flutter of leaves.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Jiraiya said, afraid to turn around.

"Good." Came a sweet voice. A voice WAY too sweet.

--

Ino appeared behind Jiraiya, and grinned when she heard him say:

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Ino started forming seals while replying in a sickly sweet tone of voice she only reserved for someone who had done something incredible stupid, and was about to face the consequence.

"Good."

"Shinshurui henka no jutsu (Mind type switch technique)" Ino called and something shot from her final seal, which looked like she was praying, and hit Jiraiya, knocking him unconscious. Ino grinned so widely that her face was close to splitting in two.

"That's for all the women you've peeked on." Ino said before going back to the hot spring.

--

Jiraiya woke up sometime later, feeling…fine. Nothing was off, noting was in the wrong places, which he thanked the heavens for. But he started to wonder, and worry. Yamanaka Ino was not a bad kunoichi. When she used a jutsu, it generally worked perfectly. Jiraiya remembered when she used her Shintenshin (mind body switch) on Naruto to learn why he suddenly had distanced himself from her. The bad side about the decision was that she met Kyuubi and spent a week in hospital. The good side was that Naruto realised he couldn't live without her and she knew his darkest secret, which to Jiraiya and Tsunade's surprise only seemed to fuel her love for her fellow blonde loudmouth. They had been together ever since.

Jiraiya shook himself out of his trip down memory lane. The point was that when the girl used a jutsu, it worked. Jiraiya looked into the hot spring.

'Nope, not there. So where is she?' he thought to himself, before smacking his forehead and headed towards the training field Naruto liked to use.

"Since she got together with the brat, she spends all her free time with him. Where he is, she is. And the brat is probably trying to perfect that wind Rasengan of his." Jiraiya said to himself and speed of to find his student and his girlfriend, to ask said girl about the effects of whatever jutsu she used on him.

--

Ino grinned to her boyfriend, who grinned back.

"I can't believe you managed to do that. That's so much better than anything I've ever would have thought of. You're a genius, Ino-chan." Naruto said and Ino smiled at him before kissing him on the cheek.

"You know I'm the brains in the relationship. Oh, there he is." Ino said and both of them saw Jiraiya jumping towards the training grounds he thought they were in.

"Does he know?" Naruto asked.

"Not yet." Ino said, and both of them grinned like two maniacs.

'**Chessh. Kids.' **Kyuubi thought in his cage, but none the less he kept looking, interested in the events. In his mind, no one was worthy of looking at his vessels mate.

"Come on, let's follow." Ino said and Naruto nodded.

--

Jiraiya frowned. The brat wasn't in the training ground.

"Okay, to the ramen stand then." He said and headed towards Ichiraku, while being followed by two teens and one caged, age-old fox.

--

When Jiraiya jumped from roof to roof, he noticed something weird. For one thing, he didn't notice a beautiful woman walking across the street until he had passed her. Normally he would have smelled her powder before even seeing her. Also, he found himself looking at Sasuke, who was walking down the street with Sakura. Of course, Jiraiya shrugged it off as him looking at Sakura instead, since she had inherited her master's rather sizable chest.

Continuing towards Ichiraku, Jiraiya never noticed the two teens (and one fox) following, snickering to each other.

--

"Not here either. Where the heck are those brats?" Jiraiya muttered angrily to himself, glancing around. Nope, no Naruto or Ino in sight.

"Damn, I guess I'll go and see if Tsunade knows where they are." Jiraiya said to himself and jumped up on a roof. Just as he was about to jump to the next, he noticed a dark haired boy that he remembered helped Naruto bring Sasuke back. Sai was his name. Then Jiraiya's eyes, ever perverted, noticed how Sai showed of his body, and Jiraiya, to his horror, felt the same tingle in him that he felt when he would go peeping.

"No, not that. It can't be that. Oh, god…no!" Jiraiya said and speed off towards the Hokage tower, leaving a confused Sai behind. Sai got even more confused when he saw a laughing Ino and Naruto follow Jiraiya, who had looked like a cross between his usual perverted self and horror-struck. Shrugging, Sai left to draw some more paintings, this time of his shy, dark haired princess. Not that she knew he was stalking her, though.

'She probably doesn't even know I exist.' Sai sighed as he thought that, before hurrying to begin his stalking.

--

Jiraiya burst into Tsunade's office, as usual trough the window, only to be met with a punch from said Hokage. Climbing into the window again, he was about to speak when he noticed the occupants of the room. Tsunade, Shizune and Team Gai in all their glory, green tights, big eyebrows and two disgruntled members included. As usual Gai and Lee wore their green spandex suits, green Jounin jackets and orange leg warmers, while Neji and Tenten stood a little away from them, trying to block out their weirdness. Tsunade was, as always, switching between glaring at Jiraiya, and rubbing her temples. Jiraiya was about to talk to Tsunade, when Gai began.

"Look Lee. Jiraiya-sama bounces right back from Tsunade-sama's youthful punch. HIS FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE INCREDIBLE. COME LEE, WE MUST TRAIN TO MATCH HIS FLAMES OF BURNING YOUTH!!!" Gai yelled.

"YES GAI-SENSEI. I WILL RUN FIVE HUNDRED LAPS AROUND THE VILLAGE WITH TENTEN ON MY BACK WHILE SHE PRACTISES HER KUNAI THROWS." Lee yelled back.

"AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, THEN I WILL RUN TO SUNA AND BRING KAZEKAGE-SAMA BACK IN A DAY, SO HE CAN TRAIN WITH YOU AGAIN." Gai yelled back.

"AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, I'LL CHALLENGE MY ETERNAL RIVAL, THE ETERNALLY YOUTHFUL NARUTO-KUN TO SPAR WITH ME USING THREE THOUSAND KAGE BUNSHINS." Lee yelled back.

"AND IF YOU LOOSE, I SHALL HAVE THE ETERNALLY YOUTHFUL NARUTO-KUN SUMMON GAMABUNTA-SAMA AND WILL DO THREE THOUSAND ONE ARMED PUSH-UPS WITH HIM ON MY BACK." Gai screamed back.

"OH, GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And the two embraced themselves in their customary hug while the background, which consisted of a twitching Neji and Tenten, changed into a sunset on the beach with waves crashing into said beach, all while Lee and Gai hugged each other with tears streaming down their cheeks.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

As the yelling and crying and hugging, and for Tsunade, Tenten and Neji's part, twitching continued, Jiraiya had the shock of his life. He had a nose bleed.

A nose bleed, from watching two men, two incredible bad looking men, hug each other. Furthermore, when Jiraiya found himself staring at Lee's ass, he felt his 'little Jiraiya' stir and begin to awaken, which hadn't happened since he had peeked on Ino earlier. That sent off another alarm in Jiraiya's mind, not that he needed any more, since alarms were practically short circuiting in his head due to the wrongness of the situation. The fact that his presence next to Tsunade, which arguably was the hottest kunoichi in the century (according to Jiraiya…and a lot of other men) hadn't awoken his 'little Jiraiya', but these two did, managed to send Jiraiya's mind from 'horrified beyond explanation' to 'complete meltdown'.

As such, there was nothing to stop his girlish scream, a mix of terror and his usual pervertness, from coming. Everyone in the room froze, and looked at the Sannin, which by now was as white as his hair.

"It's impossible…I'm Jiraiya…the…super pervert. Every woman in the world flocks to my manliness. I…can't be…this is impossible." Jiraiya muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Tsunade asked, annoyed beyond words, both at the disturbing sight, which by the way was disturbingly common, and by her muttering and staring team mate. The fact that he was seemingly staring at Gai and Lee's bodies also accounted as disturbing.

"Is something wrong, Jiraiya-sama?" Gai asked. Neji made a movement and Jiraiya looked at him out of reflex, he was a ninja and had to be alert at all times. The simple look turned longer as Jiraiya noticed that Neji was actually quite attractive. Just as he noticed that, Jiraiya's eyes widened in horror yet again and he screamed.

"What the hell is up with you?" Tsunade asked, standing up now. Something was wrong with the pervert. Just then, Naruto and Ino appeared in the room.

"I know." They both said, wearing equal shit eating grins. Tsunade thought that Naruto, and to a certain extent, never looked more like a cunning fox than at that moment.

"Then pray tell what is wrong with Ero-baka here?" Tsunade asked, ignoring the whimpers of Jiraiya, who now lay curled up in the foetal position, rocking back and forth.

"He's gay." Naruto simply said.

The room grew quiet.

"What?" Tsunade asked while Shizune looked like someone told her the world was flat.

"I caught him peeking at me in the hot springs, so I used my newest jutsu and turned his heterosexuality into homosexuality. And the best part is, he still thinks he's 'into' women, while he is into men now." Ino thought while Naruto grinned widely.

A moment of silence as every occupant in the room looked at the sobbing man on the floor. Then, without warning, Tsunade, Shizune, Tenten, Ino and Naruto began to howl with laughter, Tsunade and Naruto so much that they fell to the floor. Neji, Gai and Lee weren't so sure if they appreciated that bit of news.

"Is…. It…. permanent?" Tenten asked between laughs. Ino managed to nod, before falling onto her boyfriend, shaking with laughter.

"And the best part is…he's obviously attracted to Neji, thick-brows and super-thick brows." Naruto gasped forth, initiating another bout of unsuppressed laughter. Neji, Lee and Gai paled considerately and glared at Ino.

"Don't look at me. He deserved it." Ino said and the three men turned to Jiraiya, who suddenly stopped whimpering when he felt three very strong killer intents. Looking up, he saw Neji, Lee and Gai walking towards him, then stop, pale, double their killing intent and charge towards him.

Why did they do that? They noticed that Jiraiya got a bloody nose from looking at them. His screams of pain and terror filled Konoha well into the night.

--

The following week had been hell for Jiraiya. He had gotten out of the hospital the day after his beating by three infuriated men. In the hospital, the female staff snickered at him, while the male staff would hardly touch him with a teen feet pole.

When he got out of the hospital, things only got worse. News spread like wildfire. Everywhere, women would fall down, laughing at him, while men would glare at him, and sometimes hide their asses, to Jiraiya's VERY reluctant disappointment.

A low point in his week was when Jiraiya tried to get back at Ino, only to have her throw a Hirashin kunai, and have Naruto appear. Instead of beating Jiraiya up, Naruto had grinned and used the Harem no jutsu, which normally would have produced a massive nose bleed, but it had no affect on Jiraiya what so ever, to his very evident disappointment, and Naruto and Ino's amusement, although Naruto's was a bit subdued due to Ino bonking him on the head for using a perverted jutsu. Jiraiya had gotten angry and had charged Ino in a mad rage, demanding that she undo the jutsu. THEN, Naruto had beat him up. Damn the kid and his fast growth.

Another low point came when Kakashi approached him, demanding that he not under ANY circumstance would release a Yaoi version of Icha Icha paradise.

But the ultimate low point in Jiraiya's new life came when Sabaku no Kankurou came to visit. The make-up-using ninja looked at Jiraiya for a while, before smirking.

"You know, rumour in Suna has it that you are gay now. I'm glad." The puppet user said before taking out a scroll.

"Shall we get wild, Jiraiya-chan?" Kankurou asked. When Jiraiya tried to get away with a jutsu, Kankurou grinned even wider.

"Oh, that's useless, Jiraiya-chan. Tsunade-sama helped me by drugging your sake. You are mine." The puppet ninja said and summoned Karasu and Kuro Ari, his two favourite puppets.

Jiraiya's screams once again filled the night.

--

Ino was later awarded the 'Kunoichi of the year' for her feat of saving every kunoichi in the world from Jiraiya's peeping habits. Jiraiya…kept at his peeping, trying desperately to regain his interest in women, but more often than not found himself peeping into the male part of the hot springs, usually followed by a high pitched scream.

End

* * *

Kin Ryu-Chikara here.

Okay, only a joke fic this one. An idea I got while talking to my friend, who shall remain unnamed. I give her all the credit. She's the mind behind this. There, you happy, kjære? ALL the credit.

One thing I have to note. THIS IS NOT TO OFFEND ANY HOMOSEXUALS. I have nothing against gay people. This is just a joke about Jiraiya, and not against men liking men. If anyone was offended, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. bows


End file.
